


A wincest PSA, hosted by Sam and Dean!

by AlisStarChan



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas is confused, Comedy, Coming Out, Counter productive "no homos", Crack, Crushes, Curses, Denial, First Kiss, Fluff, Funny, Kissing, M/M, Public Service Announcement, RST, Slightly crack but totally plausible, UST, Wincest - Freeform, cas finds out, cursing, inscest, yes- very homos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-04
Updated: 2014-11-04
Packaged: 2018-02-24 01:05:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2562428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlisStarChan/pseuds/AlisStarChan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Shut up! I get it! Shit! Off topic! So, we apparently both like men and women, which is irrelevant! But we are not gay for one another. Right?”</p><p> “No-I mean-yes! I mean, yes I am not! I mean, shit.<br/>YES...I am NOT gay...for you...Sam. There.”</p><p> </p><p>This is going to be a very counterproductive PSA.<br/>There will be crack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A wincest PSA, hosted by Sam and Dean!

**Author's Note:**

> Dean may be my spirit animal, but he is not my own original character. All characters in this story belong to Eric Kripke. I promise to give them back soon, I'm just taking them out to play.
> 
> This work is un-beta-ed. I assume all mistakes.

“Lights, camera, action. Cas!”

 

(I do not understand the reference however I can assume that you are asking me to press ‘record’ on your video camera. I believe I already have though...Yes, I think it is in fact recording, begin.)

“Hello! I’m Sam and this is my brother…”

“This is so fucking dumb, Sammy. I’m Dean.”

“We are the brothers from the obscure occult series Supernatural, written by Carver Edlund. Many of you already know this, or else you wouldn't be watching our video!”

“No shit, Sam.”

“Anyways. We would both like to say that we have read some literature produced by our fans regarding matters of an unsavory nature.”

“Of the brotherfucking variety, Sam.”

“Goddamnit Dean! We have to be diplomatic about this! Okay. Whew. Lets get back on track. Our first argument is that we would let to set the record straight, we are not even gay!"

“That’s not true, Sam, that is not even true! You know this! I’m like, 40% gay.” 

“That doesn't matter right now, Dean!” 

“Visibility, Sammy!”

“Jeez, anyways ! Dean totally would still never fuck me.”

“Is that your only reason, Sammy? The only reason we haven't fucked yet is because I haven’t come on to you??

“Well, no! I mean, we both know I’m like…. the opposite of strictly dickly...so...I’m totally straight and don't want to…..fuck…..you...either.” 

“That is such a lie Sam!” 

“Gross dean!”

“No, i mean the strick’ly dickly part. You are so dickly, Sam. You've only ever dated girls. But you are no where near straight!”

“How…..how the fuck do you know about that?”

“Motel walls, Sammy! Paper fucking thin mot-”

“Shut up! I get it! Shit! Off topic! So, we apparently both like men and women, which is irrelevant! But we’re not gay for one another. Right Dean?”

“No-I mean-yes! I mean, yes I am not! I mean, shit.  
YES...I am NOT gay...for you...Sam. There.”

“See fans! Dean would never do that to me!”

“Yeah, that! Sam would never fuck me in a thousand years!”

“Now, I’m not saying Dean is unattractive. He’s just... my brother.”

“Yeah. We can both say say for certain that Sam is ripped to all hell, right Cas?  
(Don't drag me in to this, Dean.)  
But that doesn't mean we've boned!”

“Uh...Yeah…Dean. Thanks?"

“Like when you were soulless! Not that you were a better hunter when you were soulless, but Jesus, Sammy! You looked like you lived at the gym! I-uhhh-someone else could have wash clothes on those wash boa-"

“Uh...thanks...dean. *sigh* Back to the point. Brother sex is nasty and gross and just plain wrong and we have never participated in any kind of sexual activity. Incest is wrong.”

“Now, Sammy. Incest isn’t inherently- 

"Don't you dare say it, Dean!"

"-wrong.”

“Jesus fucking Christ he went there.” 

“Think about it, Sam, Adam and Eve’s kids were all siblings.”

“Goddamnit, Dean! “

“Look at the lore, Sammy! All the lore we have read says that it is-”

“-Perfectly natural, Dean. I get it! We have all heard you little speech about how incest is okay!”

“I’m just saying, Sammy! In the Greco-Roman census, one fifth of all married people were brother and sis-!” 

“I know!” 

“Even in the bible-”

“I KNOW!”

“Sigmund Freud, Melanie Klein, Lloyd DeMause, they all say tha-”

“I KNOW, DEAN!  
Will you fucking shut up! You told me this the first time we discovered wincest on Cas’ laptop!” 

 

“Even Castiel, an ex-angel said that it would be perfectly fine if we had something important to tell hi-”

“SHUTTHEFUCKUPDEANBEFOREIMURDERYOU!  
*sigh* Back to our main point. Dean wont fuck me. Laws say its a no-no. We are never going to go there, fans. End of PSA.” 

“No! Not the end of the PSA, Cas. Don't you dare touch that camera! Okay! Fine Sam. Be that way if you want but you haven’t once mentioned a single reason why YOU- not state laws, not me, not your sexuality- But why don’t YOU want this? Cas, don’t you dare touch that camera. We are still rolling!”

“What the fuck Dean! Why else would I make this damn PSA? I don’t want people thinking nasty shit about my big brother, thats why! It wouldn’t be right!”

“Those aren't reasons Sam! Those are excuses! We both grew up with dad so I know a damn excuse when I hear one.”

“Your wrong, Dean! I would never let myself…forgive myself...if I...”

"If you what, Sammy?..."

“People wouldn't understand, Dean. You wouldn't understand.”

“Sammy, I think people understand full well, and they obviously are very into it too. As for me, I’ve understood longer than you know. No smoke without fire Sammy. The fans all have read about the way I look at you.”

“Look... at ...me?”

“Yeah, Sammy. Come on. You have to see it too. So if this isn't something you want, look me in the eyes and tell me that you don’t want what I can give you. Otherwise we can forget this ever hap-mmmmmmpppphhhh.” 

“Mmmmmmph…...oh god yes!”

“mmmmmm….. I was expecting a sock in the mouth, Sammy. Not a ki-mmmmmmmmpphhhh, oh...oh...yes. Sammy…”

“mmmm...A kiss? Not just a kiss Dean. I want it all mmm..yes...there”

“How long have you…?”

“So long, Dean. Ages. Goodness. Mmph. Ages. You?”

“Always, Sammy, Always.”

 

 

 

(………………………. I’m just going to…….go.)

“Get the fuck out of here, Cas!"

**Author's Note:**

> Wow. This sprung from my brain fully formed.
> 
> PLEASE COMMENT! I don't even care if it is a flame or something. I am a needy person who has no emotions.
> 
> A KUDOS IS JUST A CLICK AWAY;)


End file.
